worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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