Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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