Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
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I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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