I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????