Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
