But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
