i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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