Pappa wants mamma naked
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
