The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
