I think I am morally bankrupt
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Found your dick twin last night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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