I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im holly from the hills drunk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
