i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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