I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
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Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
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So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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