You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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