that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
