Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I smell stomach acid.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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