But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
