Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I love having hate sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
