I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
