Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
