So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
