we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
