ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can tuck mytits in my pants
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
