Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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