Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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