chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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