Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
