but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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