my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
