i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
zippers are such a cool invention
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
