I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
