Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
