she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
