No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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