you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
