How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
