I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
