last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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