What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
