youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize