I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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