I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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