no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize