there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
