I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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