i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
