When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
