I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
why didn't you poke me back
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i came on her dog
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
