i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
