i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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