First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
