i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
