My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
