So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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