yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
