If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
