So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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