so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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