I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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