You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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