call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
