So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize